Wow what creepy fucks all the time, just enriching the earth.

Here I am with Ninja, the fat cat who loves fat things over proteins. His brother Eros was neutered the other day through a feline society friend of Em's (That's Estherhaus) and I felt/feel sad for him. I know surgery hurts. When I had my appendix removed, I could barely even walk for 2 weeks, let alone have that done to my balls, given medication from some other animal group, then taken back home to hide outside somewhere in the rain all day! It's supposed to snow sometime, we haven't had hot water anywhere in the house except maybe the washer and the downstairs shower. No working water in the kitchen sink at all. The dishes have been piled up.

No hot water in the downstairs bathroom sink and none upstairs. This has been about a couple months, or since whenever the inauguration was cause the pipes busted in that initial snow. The landlord's handymans are terribly bad at fixing things. They like to cover things up/patch them up. I'm getting pissed writing this. The old man's got one, maybe two, hands with missing fingers.

I remember one time when the Lioness and I were together, we were playing around, baking a cake for a printmaking cookout. Some ingredient was forgotten so I'm in the car about to go get it. She's hovering over me in the driveway flashing me. We didn't think anyone was looking, and then out of nowhere, the landlord's about us. He looks her up and down and then nods, winks, and then says to me, "She look like a good girl gone bad, don't she? 

So basically all the dudes moved out of the house in some way or other. Only one's really left, but he's younger than me and I'd been previous roommates/friends with his brother. I've taken over all the lease stuff and other bills under my name.

I've been pretty good about staying on time. Nothing's been cut off thus far.

I paid 2 months at once, told him what was wrong with the house and motherfucker has been missing since. Well, he made a four day appearance at the neighbor's house renovating their whole fucking bathroom and we can take warm-hot showers- in the downstairs shower if we're lucky.  Can't wash dishes or really sanitize things without having to boil water. Upstairs has to come downstairs to use sink or shower, at least that toilet works

I know a lot of people live more primitively, and i give my respects to them. Sometimes people have no idea how I can live in a house with no heat, but I always think back on the days before electricity and consider myself lucky to have modern technologies everywhere.

Sometimes being so cold reminds me that I have it good, considering there are worse situations where people are really suffering.

Anyway, I'm pissed cause all my shit's been on time and this guy is bordering slumlord. If I didn't love this fucking house so much I'd moved to the old downtown in one of the upstairs of the old dept. stores or over on the other side of the art building downtown.

School is good, I am liking photography. I enjoyed doing some egg tempera paintings, but don't really have the patience for painting.

One of my best friend's girlfriend's is going to do humanity relief work over spring break and since she'll be gone, she bought concert tickets for my friend, me, and Estherhaus to see Ani DiFranco in Durham in little over a week. As a graduation present. This will be my sixth (?) time seeing her, and I haven't seen her sine right after she had a baby, so I'm hoping she's regained her feisty energy and is happy and ready to grace us with her goodness. :)

Going to Chicago exactly a week after that with the printmaking guild, my professors, some returning grad students and my best friend who is in the wood guild. The Lioness will also be going. She's been really frustrating in terms of trying to make plans. She barks at everyone to make plans cause she is is stressed and busy (so are we) and then makes plans for herself, etc etc . 

We haven't been hanging out, or really even been communicating... I've been letting myself be lost in the world of school, work and Little Wolf. Haven't really been partying or much of anything else.

I did have a dream, within the last week, that I was in a room with confrontation of both the lioness and little wolf. Little Wolf was standing and speaking up for herself, demanding that I had to choose between the two and I instantly flared for her to forget about it. I was like, fuck you, nobody can make me do it. Then the dream was over.

Which was weird cause the other day, the lioness is purring in my ear saying she had a dream about me. She dreamt that we got married.

She seemed shocked to find out I hadn't hooked up with anyone besides her  since I've been with Little Wolf. She seemed determined to get that information from me.

Little Wolf is a beautiful girlfriend. She's sweet and good and caring. She doesn't deserve any real shittiness. 

Which is terrifying considering I know I give in to evil at times... I just don't think it will be as easy as it ever was. I know better than to give into the temptation of the Lioness. I know it wouldn't be worth it at the moment. I think rationally of consequences on all levels...  I am in love with, and loved back, by two women. If only I could be under the guise of a fundamentalist Mormon man and they, my two fundamentalist wives...