I'm exhausted. I didn't sleep last night due to a random adderrall binge. I smoked so many cigarettes I turned my tongue black (could be I was also drinking sangria til 6:30 in the morning with a friend. playing guitar, etc.
Little wolf was out of town for the last few days. I actually missed her, which is good. We've been getting along fairly well besides some conflict she's been having from her fanatical friends who try to make her feel guilty for being in a relationship or not devoting enough time to their needs or interests.
I told her she only has one life, she should do what she wants, she should explore as she needs, and if she'd like to get to know me, she can do so if she pleases.

She called me out in front of my friends on the porch the other day. We were sketching and she pulls this piece of magazine she specifically choose, which said, "Monogamy^100" and presented it to me. I actually kinda wanted to crumble it up, but I did keep it. it just slightly vexed me. I know it's a joke, but it makes me feel claustrophobic. Adds just a little more to my nerves

Because, yes. I am supposed to be in a monogamous relationship now.

not with jazz
not with jazz not with jazz

I can't let jazz intervene no matter what she says or does this time.

It is going to be rough, but it's time -as sad as that still is to me.

BUT I am interested in seeing how this new love unravels.