I'm running late, of course

I wish my sons would just get along. This is the first time they've lived together in the boy house. They've both lived here individually, but damn if there's nothing more jealous than 2 cats with child understanding fighting over territory, and worst of all, me.

My baby hasn't purred since he peaced out at the ocean while I was in the shower.

I cried all fucking day searching through the woods. Going to the neighbor’s houses. Checking the water at the dock.

My oldest son, (who became obese while away from me) hogs me up, of course. He purrs when the little black cat is missing. He plops on my head to purr as I sleep.

 

Speaking of purring kittens!

 I'd like to see the little wolf. I saw her a few days ago walking with her father outside of the art building. I was hoarding food into my mouth before working on some lithography when I saw them walking.  I thought she was going to pretend she didn’t see me, but I saw her subconsciously eying my car before she saw me. So we waved and she exclaimed it was me to her white collar, stiff-looking father, who didn’t look pleased.

 

I spoke with her last night, cause I'd been putting it off purposely since I saw them. She's been back in town for three days and just got a new cell phone. She doesn't dare contact me, but lets me know other ways that she wants me to.

She thinks she is “winning” by letting me have the upper hand in this. It works out for me- being able to do what I want without commitment. 

 

She's come to sort of sexual breakthrough over the break- but won't tell me what it was- besides that it was amazing.

The only thing she gave me a clue on was that it wasn't "boy sex"... She thinks its funny that I call it that.

 

I think I will wait another day or so before I decide to see her. So I can find out for myself what her amazing discovery was.

 She made me a mix cd which I am pretty nervous about hearing, since last time we had sex she said, "You are fatal and I am hopeless." and I was like, "No, no no no! That’s not true!"... (and because she said she writes out the personal meanings to each song and how they relate to the person she makes the mix for before giving them both.) 

But my ex girlfriend before her rings through my memory with the same confirmation, and all I am thinking is that these girls are all crazy.

After her, I am much less interested in letting this one get to me.